Thursday, April 22, 2010

In which I dream of a world where justice is both swift and severe.

I'm sure I've covered this before, but apparently it's a phenomenally difficult idea to grasp, so I'll try to take it in easy steps.

1. I feel safe in asserting, doing no research whatsoever, but rather relying on what I already know about human reproduction, psychology and constitutionally "protected" medical procedures, that the primary reason a woman would have an abortion is because she does not want to be pregnant, or to give birth, or to have a baby.
1.a. Therefore abortions happen because there are unwanted pregnancies.

2. If you are genuine in your concern about abortion and not jut a fucking woman-hating fucking asshole, then if you want to prevent abortions you would do everything in you power to . . . prevent unwanted pregnancies.  Focusing on slut-shaming, restricting access to abortion, contraception and reproductive health measures is not at all in anyway whatsoever no matter how much you try to fucking lie doing a single fucking thing to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
2.a. Therefore unless you work to ensure women have true sexual and reproductive freedom, you actually just hate women.
2.b. Therefore Oklahoma is close to being the worst state ever.

The problem with OK's bill (and there are actually multiple ones, because they tried to pull this shit last year, and got struck down on a technicality) is not just its OH MY FLYING FUCKING SPAGHETTI MONSTER breathtakingly overt misogyny, but the fact that it also contravenes basic medical ethics.  Shit like informed consent (given that the bill would permit "doctors" (you do this, you don't get to be called a doctor) to withhold information that would likely, you know, influence a woman's decision).  Shit like patient confidentiality (given that the bill would demand that women fill out a questionnaire that would be posted online).

I mean, Oklahoma (and their Republicans, but probably also their Democrats) isn't even fucking trying to pretend like women are competent.  Like women might just be the sorts of beings that have more sense than my cats.  Like women might just possibly be entitled to some bodily fucking integrity, and can, therefore, decide to have . . . ACTUAL SEXUAL INTERCOURSE AIMING FOR ORGASM and not just dutifully submit to her husband's needs and then pop out a baby 9 months later.

And seriously, if you're going to do this to ACTUAL FOR REALLY REAL PERSONS WITH PERSONHOOD AND SHIT because you think a fucking blob of mucus and cells THAT IS INVADING A FOR REALLY REAL PERSON WITH PERSONHOOD AND SHIT'S ACTUAL FUCKING BODY is more important, fuck you.  In the ear.  With an ear candle.

In a beautiful, just world, we would grant all women who are residents of OK some sort of refugee status and move them out of that state, because that state has effectively said that women are not persons to be recognized as such by law.  And we'll have funds to help those who don't think women are little more than warm, wet holes and baby-makers move the fuck out of OK.  The whole nation would rise up together and cry "FOR SHAME" on the OK legislature and the hateful fucks who voted those assholes in.  And then a giant fireball would wipe out what was left of Oklahoma.

Or at the very fucking least, these anti-woman fucking assholes would stop even pretending that they're pretending that it's about the baybeezzz and just fucking say "I am a total fucking douchecanoe, who lies awake at night in tears because I have not yet had the pleasure of reducing these American women to a status akin to women's life in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan.  I am petrified of women's sexuality.  I do not give a flying fuck about children, actually, but I do fucking hate the idea that a woman, any woman anywhere, might be shown the smallest sliver of respect."  Because, that is what the fucking truth is.

Again, you don't like abortion? Great, fucking do something real to reduce the need.  Otherwise, practice the above speech.


  1. Justice Kennedy once relied on his own knowledge of human reproduction, psychology and constitutionally "protected" medical procedures and we got the opinion in Gonzales v. Carhart. Then people like you lambasted him for it!

    But when you do it, it is okay! because your knowledge is far and clean the right knowledge to have! Nothing can be assumed. Nothing can be self-evident. Do some damn research. Write a post afterward. Stop using swear words and writing in internet slang. Totes makes you look bad.


    Here, Anonymous and Totes Helpful to the LadyBrayne Intarwebz D00d, you have attention! It's like the end of fucking Pinocchio and YOU'RE Pinocchio!